Let’s Talk

 

I recently sent this out from my newsletter, and the response was so good, I thought I’d keep it posted here for a while.  The title of this piece is “Blurt Power”, and it’s about finally understanding how to use what we have, right where we are.  I hope you enjoy it.

Blurt Power?

Now there’s a word combination you don’t see everyday!  Blurt Power is what I like to call one of the techniques that came from my own personal growth.  It’s a hit with everyone I’ve taught, so I’m going to share it here with you!  

Blurt Power:  UnLeashing Your Inner “Ouch!”
A long time ago I learned to be silent, or at least gracious, in the face of insult or unfairness.  Apparently this was thought to be good manners, and also had the added effect of not escalating an already unpleasant situation.  In hindsight, it was not such a good lesson to learn.  Afterall, how can a person grow up feeling deserving and authentic, if  they’re always receiving and accepting insult or unfairness from others?  The result of this habit was  vulnerable at best, victimized at worst.

From the beginning, I’d been taught this: “Jesus always turned the other cheek.”  (This was not particularly helpful during grade school years!)  A decade or so later, I overheard someone summing me up as, “the kind of girl who, if you slapped her, she’d say, ‘Oh! Did you hurt your hand?!’ “  That was the earnest beginning of reclaiming my true feelings, and the search for better ways than I’d been taught to handle difficult people. Don’t get the wrong idea – difficult people are still difficult, but a fraction of my earlier problem. I simply understand them (and myself) much better, now.

After learning many things from many masters, I developed my own sense of self-acceptance and self-empowerment.  (A journey that never ends, I believe, if we keep desiring to grow.)  One of the best tools I’ve found came to me by accident – or should I say, ‘Spirit’ handed me a wonderful teaching moment?

One day I received a co-worker’s ‘tongue-lashing’, as we call it in the South. Not expecting that I’d ever be on the receiving end of that kind of behavior shocked me into speechlessness… except for one, tiny child’s expression:  “Ouch!”   Yes, I actually said, “Ouch!” to an angry grown-up, which totally confused them!  They stopped their tirade long enough to scrutinize me anew, leaned in closer and said, “What did you say??”

The power of this child-like expression of hurt and surprise arrested my colleague, and in the small silence – that holy instant, as ACIM puts it – I leapt into the deep of truth-telling; I’d committed myself to keep responding authentically.  I now call this, “Blurt Power.”

Having entered the conversation by blurting “Ouch!”, I now have a platform to respond; I’m no longer a verbal punching bag or a victim, and no longer a silent receiver.  Now I am in a dialog, and committed to saying what I meant by this “Ouch!”  It gave me a tiny breath of time to wake up and truthfully respond.  Once I said, “Ouch!” I was engaged and connected and said what I felt — I said,“Yes, I said ouch! because that really stung me.  I doubt you’re trying to do that, so let’s try it again.  What can I do for you?”  The result was predictably much better, for both of us!

I’ve used this technique many times since, and it’s never let me down.  The feedback has been good from those who try it.  (The ones who don’t protest it’s too childish a word for them, but not every technique is for everyone, is it?)  Do you suffer from not being able to speak up for yourself?  Why not give this little word a try?  And of course, you’ll want to tap on that!

My name’s Jondi Whitis, and I approved this message!
Jondi@eft4Results.com
AAMET Trainer/Practitioner
For a tapping outline of how this might work for your tapping about this issue, Click hereand I’ll send it right to your email, my gift.  And if you have a group of 10 or more that could use this kind of work, give me a shout.  I’ll do whatever I can to offer a workshop in your location.  I’m looking forward to hearing from you!


CHANGE THE WORLD?….

Start with Yourself.

What do YOU want to change?  As much as we want to change things for the better or right a wrong, how much of this has to do with your own ‘stuff’?  Do you keep encountering the thing that bugs you most? Are you attracting this pattern?

It’s worth contemplating that the things (and people!) that bother us the most have very real connections to us.

Great news!… it’s not a little black cloud following us, it’s all just feedback!

Take family situations, it’s pretty well known that the thing that irks us most about a family member is the thing we don’t like about ourselves. So, putting this idea on a bigger stage (the world around us), wouldn’t the same things hold true…that the issues that concern us most are those that we particularly dislike or fear?  And then, does that mean that we carry that particular energy around with us?

If that’s so, then we’re truly going to have to change ourselves before we can change the world.  And making peace with that problem’s connection to ourself is the best place to start!

We all do what we think is “right”, from our own learned emotional programming and perspectives.  But as we’re all operating from this place that we’ve learned (by the time we’re 5!!), we naturally operate from a type of tunnel vision.  In other words, the tunnel of information we’ve been handed, taught and the meaning we’ve taken from our experience to date.  This process of absorbing and experiential learning results in our beliefs about the world. And those might be inspiring, liberating, or…..LIMITING.  Those kind of beliefs form the automatic ‘tunnel vision’ I’m talking about.

Once we’re aware of this ‘tunnel vision’ or way of seeing the situation, we can go about making re-considered thoughts and perspectives, instead of the automatic ones we’re often not even aware of.

And we all do what we think is the best we can do…until we suddenly own up to the fact that we’re really just doing the best we’re willing to do!

Even if we don’t change a thing besides that, this awareness can set us free.  Of what? Well, our denial about who’s really in control of us and our circumstances, for starters.  This is NOT the bad news — it’s the GOOD news. It means that whenever we’re ready to start changing that thing we no longer want in our lives…the change begins.  Yes, it really IS that simple.

So when we’re aware that we’ve hit a ‘speedbump’ that either keeps us unhappy, or we’d like to change, consider this possible 5-point roadmap to changing it:

1. Ask yourself what exactly you have in common with this problem; what’s your earliest connection to this feeling or situation?

2. How do you feel about the problem or situation?  Where do we feel it in our body?  How do you feel about maintain this feeling or  pattern?

3. Ask yourself what removing your emotional core reaction to it would entail. If you no longer had this emotional reaction or feeling about it, how would your life change for the better?  What would be worse?

4. Now that you’re aware of these things, can you ‘make peace’ with the truth of it?  If not, what stands in the way?

5.  Now that you know the truth of the situation, are you still feeling the same way about releasing or changing it?  Can you assess now if this change would give you the peace, progress or health that you’d rather have?

So.  Are you ready to transform this into something better?

Great!  Email me now, and let’s not waste another minute on a life less satisfying.   Here’s how: Jondi@eft4results.com